I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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