real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
