maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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