The maid of honor just puked.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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