It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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