Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize