We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
