So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
