Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
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party gras won. party gras always wins.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
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of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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