id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize