We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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