You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
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I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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