i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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