i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I came so hard my ears popped.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
