this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
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Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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