Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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