Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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