Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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