if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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