I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
