I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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