Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
