I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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