he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize