I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
