The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
