I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
