I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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