on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
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We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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