yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
