so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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