I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
