I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
