He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
