She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
