The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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