I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
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What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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