Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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