She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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