I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
