um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We had to coat check the pizza.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
