All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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