whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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