yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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