Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
