My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
