Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
