I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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