I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
