I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
