I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
