i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
