I puked a lego.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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