i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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