I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
