she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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