Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
