...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
